


Weit Weg

by SomeSunnyDay



Category: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeSunnyDay/pseuds/SomeSunnyDay
Summary: At the start of the day, Jimmy had been very excited to meet Nny. By the end of the day he regretted stepping onto his property.(Vent fic.)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Kudos: 5





	Weit Weg

**Author's Note:**

> The small conversation Jimmy and Johnny have before he dies is changed here to reflect on how sometimes I feel very disgusted with myself and what I think about. Jimmy's whole thing getting ready to meet Nny is usually how I try to find hope in the small things, which inevitably get crushed like the leaf in Jimmy's pocket either due to self doubt and sabotage or forces outside of my control. 
> 
> Nny's lines are what my thoughts scream at me whenever I have a good thing happen, that no matter what I do to counteract my negative traits, they will still be there because the mental illnesses that I have will never go away. What I think about on a daily basis will never go away because I've been this way for too long. I started to think about hurting other people for fun when I was 10 years old, I'm now 17 and it has only gotten worse.
> 
> This is my attempt at reaching out to let others know in my position that they're not alone, because you can't just announce online that you think about killing people (and even worse things that I can't even mention right now) unless you want to lose the respect of your peers and possibly get flagged by the FBI or something due to them thinking you're going to actually hurt someone.
> 
> I try my hardest to not hurt people, I lock myself in my room so as to not hurt people, I usually just end up hurting myself in one way or another but I'll make that sacrifice so I don't put others in danger. 
> 
> To those of you who hurt like me, just know- you are not alone and you're trying your fucking hardest and it's ok, you'll be sound eventually, I believe in you.

The day started normally, Jimmy got up, didn't eat and put on his makeup. There was a genuine attempt at it this time, this time he was going to meet Nny. 

He sat at the park waiting for a while, he didn't want to go for it right away. 

The leaves were falling, autumn had come around a little earlier this year. Jimmy liked the smell of the leaves, they were wet and dead but it gave him a comfort. It reminded him of when his life wasn't so shit. He had the leaves, and now Nny to look for comfort in.

He got up and walked to Nny's house, on the way out of the park he picked up a leaf- it was a gold color with streaks of brown. Not yet dead but getting there. He put it in his coat pocket and went on his way.

Maybe Nny would appreciate the sentiment if he gave it to him.

* * *

**_Crack._ **

Jimmy felt something had broken, he was in too much pain to make a coherent response.

He was down the steps of the basement in two seconds. His body twisted and it hurt.

"I guess you decided to follow me after all."

Jimmy was tearing up- his eyes burned. 

Nny moved over to him slowly  _ maybe he changed his mind- _

"I..-I wanted- you to- teach me.."

Nny looked down at him and sat next to him. 

"I want you to listen to me."

Jimmy nodded as much as he could.

"How much makeup did you put on today?"

"..uh-..a lot..?"

"Ok, now I'm going to make an observation."

Nny leaned over Jimmy and got close to his face, "I want you to know that no matter how much makeup you put on, how many times you change your clothes, how much you cover up, you'll always be disgusting inside. You, Jimmy- look  _ nice _ right now but you will  **_never_ ** change the way you are behind that feeble little mask you put on. Do you understand me?"

Jimmy let the tears fall and nodded.

"We are not the same, we  **_never_ ** will be. You are a hideous mistake. I'll acknowledge that I am not much different but I'd never do what you did to that girl. That was a repulsive action driven by revenge. You can try and justify it all you want but that type of behavior is never ok to or from anyone."

Jimmy tried to move- to get away. He could  _ almost _ -

"Hm..?"

Nny held Jimmy in place, "You can't accept what you've done? Shame. You need to be disposed of like the diseased garbage that you are."

Jimmy closed his eyes- this was all too much. He struggled again and felt the leaf for Nny in his pocket crumble and he thought  _ just like my hope. _

The next thing he felt was a rip in his clothes and immediately after a searing hot pain in his chest. He snapped his eyes open and screamed.

"I-I'm just like you!"

The last thing he saw was a mallet and then it was black.

He vaguely remembered before he got sent to Hell, Nny saying that he didn't like himself much.


End file.
